Relationships

Everyone is familiar with the old saying "Relationships take work". My only question is at what cost?

I have been dealing with relationships in my life for the past year and sometimes I wonder how much I have to give to make others give back. I wonder why some relationships drain so much out of me while others seem to be on a more 50/50 level. ANYONE that knows me can say without conviction that I am there for them at any level. I will drop whatever I am doing to be there for someone and I don't think of that as "work". I think that is things good friends do and being a good friend is something I think about on an almost daily basis. I want people close to me to know that if they need someone to talk to or someone to be there, I am ALWAYS going to be the one. It is a little harder now that I am far away, I can't just come over to help with things unless its planned or an emergency and I don't get to see my friends on a daily basis, but I still have weekly if not daily conversations with everyone and that keeps us close. :)

I have had some strained relationships in the past since I got married to a man who to some people, I will never be good enough for. We all know how silly that is! ;0) Even after us being together for almost 9 years and having a little girl, there is still so much hatred for me, its not even funny. Now don't get me wrong, there were times, in which people "acted" like they accepted us, but missed calls on birthdays, never a call before the 1st day of school to wish a great day, or a call after to see how it went, never an Easter shared and other things show what its truly about. Keep in mind, that all those incidents were before the move so we were within a 15 mile radius of everyone then. Emma sometimes asks about them and I tell her they are busy or working or whatever. Anything to keep her from knowing the truth! I know that this can only be done for a short time longer and there is nothing i can do to hide it. The only thing I can do is make her see that they are the ones missing out, not us. I once heard from an old friend, the quanity of people in your life don't matter, its the quality. Wow, how true is that! I have gotten over the feeling of "needing acceptance" from those people now I just have to show her that it is not needed.

I have really seen lately who will be there for you no matter what you would do for them. That doesn't matter to some people, what matters is how convienent does your life and life issues fit to thier schedule? I have made plans with friends only to have them "forget" or just choose not to be there. That has hurt tremendously and i just can't allow people to get to me anymore. We only live once and the things we miss out on or the people we hurt, or that hurt us will stay with us forever no matter what. I guess it just boils down to relationships can be exhausting and deplete your strength like no other BUT if the relationship is worked at by everyone thats involved, those things don't matter.

If past relationships are no longer, I have to remember its out of my control and thats ok too. :)

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