Tested and thoughtful

Ok, so I am a little ill this morning! I will apologize in advance for my rant!

Our tenants that live in our OLD NEW house in North Alabama called yesterday to inform me that there has been an issue with the bank and our rent check if we have already deposited it, would be returned! Now, I was standing in Wal-Mart buying groceries at this time, so you can imagine me trying to have this conversation, while one lady almost ran me over in a motorized scooter and one man started breathing down my neck like a dragon because apparantly I was blocking his view of the Jeno's frozen pizza selection!! ARRGGHH!! I tried to find a secluded place to carry on my private conversation, all while trying to make sure my frozen goodies, dont melt to oblivion, as I stand there! She proceeds to tell me that she has had a mixup with a creditor and they siezed all her funds in her account and if I had already deposited her check, it would be returned NSF. Of course, my heart is racing because the last thing you want is for your tenant to be giving you issues about paying on the 2nd month's rent. I was however a little at ease because the rent check had not been deposited yet so I knew that I was ok in that regard. I proceeded to tell her that her rent check was late this month and I did not send her a late notice, but since that happened and there was a sign that her checks could be a problem in the future, we would need to only accept certified funds from here on out! She seemed ok with that, and not to sound mean, but it doesn't matter if she is or not. When I did our lease, I put in a few points to make sure I was covered and this was one of them! I know things happen, geez, when my hubby and I first got together, I was forever getting late notices in the mail or overdrawing our checking account! Yes, me! I was not good at balancing a checkbook and certaintly not good and getting all the bills paid! So, I know about things that come up, but I have to protect myself. Sometimes I wish I had just put the house in the hands of a management company and let them deal witht the heartache, but since this was given to me by my husband as sometwhat of a job to be a landlord/collection clerk, I have to suck it up and deal with all things, even the not so fun aspects. I pray that she will get her act together so i don't have to give her a swift boot in the booty and all things end well! ;) (That was the tested portion of my post)

Ok, so I feel better now thats off my chest! On to the next thing!

You know I was talking to a friend from back home yesterday and we were just doing a quick catchup on the phone while she was in the dr's office and we both were saying how our husbands and kids and all were. By the way, this said friend was also the one that I talked to right after talking to the tentant, so bless her heart, i am sure she heard how i felt about the event. love you T!

As we were talking, I got to thinking about things in my life and how much they have changed! 1 year ago, I was convinced my husband was having an affair and was doing everything in my power to prove it, so I could know I was not crazy. I was working for the first time really since I had met my husband and I was trying to make a career so that if things went the way I predicted, I would have a cushion to fall back on. Around Christmas, my fears were confirmed and we seperated. I did not know how to handle it, but I had friends and family that went to bat for me and I had one family member that I thought would choke his eyeballs out if she ever got ahold of him. lol! Thats one thing about this person, she will mostly let other people have thier way with her, but she is fierce when it comes to her family. ;0)

Anyway, to make a long story short, my husband and I reconciled after a couple months and we have been mending our marriage almost daily since that time. I say almost, because there are days, I think niether of us do "our" part in making our marriage work, because one of us is mad or something, but we always remember what we are fighting for and pick it back up again. We no longer threaten to leave as a tact to get attention, I no longer leave after said 'threat' because I used to be a pro and packing up that SUV and getting the heck out of dodge. I can move everything that is priceless to me and my children in about 2 hours. I was good at it, because thats how I dealt with things, I ran. We are past that point now! Now, do I have days where I still flip thru his phone after using it, why yes! Do I check his cc statements from time to time, why yes! You are probably thinking, well if you let him come back, you must trust him. The answer to that is I do and I don't. I do in the fact that his actions have proven to me he won't hurt me again since he has been home, I don't in the fact, that once a trust is broken like that, no matter how much they prove, only time will build the trust back.

I know you are wondering what the point in posting my marriage issues on the internet when i could pretend that it never happened? Why would I be ashamed in it? Plus pretending or lying is something I have never been good at anyway. The point is time changes things and people and thats just what we have to depend on sometimes. I love my sometimes grumpy husband with all his quirks! Even though sometimes, we fight like our tiff on the way back home the other day. It reminded me that no one is perfect and should not pretend to be so.

I guess the Not me mondays of yesterday got me wanting to get some things off my chest! That and thinking of how much difference a year makes. I miss home terribly sometimes, but to be back a year ago, this time, not for anything in this world. I like where I am headed and I think I needed all the events of the past to get me there!!